There is no escaping from my past.
Even if I lives in somewhere where no one else know me.
Even if no one know my past.

It is all in my action, behavior, dressing, decision.
It is  inside and outside of me

Took me so long to realize this.
Now I am really at peace with myself.

Still not going to bring up the past but I am coming to term with it.

Today was eventful. Not going into details just a few keywords so that when I read in future, I might recall.
look up blur guy yellow shirt chatting lift blind spot purple line oop bitchy you wait presentation

that all.

I was ...I wouldn't say rude but maybe over casual with my lecturer. I think the others in the class will think that I am bitchy '38'. But really, it was just because the lecturer isn't fierce and I have a lack of respects for him.
He is really inefficient. And I don't know whether he know his stuffs because I don't understand his teaching! I don't articulate well that why I gave up the route of becoming a chinese teacher. But he doesn't articulate well and alot of teachers doesn't. Why oh why! I guess I am just jealous. But I think dictation and articulation plays an impt role in teaching.

X )

Had a bad weekend. Troubled by OOP assignment. My nightmare didn't even make sense. It not about OOP anyway. But still it a bizzare nightmare.
yes. It proven that I get depressed when I have too much free time and no food to eat.
My time not entirely free, I have works to do. But well, I just didn't got around doing them.
My OOP will have to wait till next weekend. Until I have some clues. I tried to figure it out yesterday and by the word 'tried', you understand the result already. And it left me in a crazy state all day long.

Today is my mum birthday. We are going for a family lunch later on. I am happy because they are going to the usual haunt that is good price and good food. I am getting fat but it the least of my concern now. I need comfort foods!

I am never going to starve again. It puts me in a terrible state of mind.
but not as terrible as what dehyrdation does to me. and it only mild dehyrdation.

Maknae rebellion is funny. okay. Everyone knows I don't watch show because of the shows. But seunghyun is funny. That why I am watching.

Work after lunch. X)
I have things to do. X)

I just cleaned up my msn contacts last night.
It is getting sad and pathetic. But that is alright.

Maybe my room is just too messy and the air isn't circulating welll.
When I am awake and conscious in my room, my head spin.
Okay, it might be the radiaton of the laptop.
Damn, I should have bought the printed notes for this sem.
Oh well. What to do.

one sided love sucks!

my head is spinning.

bad sign.

等于慢性自杀

我丑我胖我不自信

Not again.

and I think I have a clue why.
I keep applying it to others. But now I see it happening to myself.
If that not the reason. then I might be bipolar. and that is serious.

OOP labtest later. I think I will be fine. Provided that the labtest is on the same difficulty level as the sample labtest. It would be even better if part1 and 2 is easier. I think I have having some problem with it.

Asked BingQiang for help on the concept paper yesterday. So thanks. My concept paper is still hanging on a line. But I am still going to pass up it today. My concept sucks, another month also won't be able to save my concept paper.

So fast, one school week has gone by/passing. I am not sentimental. I am just not ready for work yet. I feel so incompetent. But I think I will just died on the interview so I won't get to the part whereby I start work and I don't know how to do work and there is no one who will help.

Okay enough of the negativity, even if the concern is real.